How to Have a Happy Marriage

One of my dearest friends is the saintly Anglican bishop J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) . I re-read his classic volume “Holiness” every year and I have relied heavily upon his expositions of the Gospels. Following is his wise counsel on marital bliss

Of all relationships of life, none ought to be regarded with such reverence, and none taken in hand so cautiously as the relationship of husband and wife.

In no relationship is so much earthly happiness to be found, if it be entered upon discreetly, advisedly, and in the fear of God. In none is so much misery seen to follow, if it be taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, wantonly, and without thought. From no step in life does so much benefit come to the soul, if people marry “in the Lord.” From none does the soul take so much harm, if fancy, passion, or any mere worldly motive is the only cause which produce the union.

There is, unhappily, only too much necessity for impressing these truths upon people. It is a mournful fact, that few steps in life are generally taken with so much levity, self will, and forgetfulness of God as marriage. Few are the young couples who think of inviting Christ to their wedding! It is a mournful fact that unhappy marriages are one great cause of the misery and sorrow of which there is so much in the world. People find out too late that they have made a mistake, and go in bitterness all their days.

Happy are they, who in the matter of marriage observe three rules: The first is to marry only in the Lord, and after prayer for God’s approval and blessing. The second is not to expect too much from their partners, and to remember that marriage is, after all, the union of two sinners, and not of two angels. The third rule is to strive first and foremost for one another’s sanctification. The more holy married people are, the happier they are.

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Carl Robbins

Carl is a native of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, a graduate of Crichton College and Covenant Theological Seminary. Pastor Robbins has served churches in South Carolina, Oklahoma and Nevada. In addition Carl has served on the board of crisis pregnancy centers, Christian schools and seminaries. He has spoken to college groups, medical school forums, state legislative groups, seminary chapels and church conferences. His special passion is training pastors in developing countries. Carl and wife Sandy have been married for 37 years(!) and are the parents of three believing, adult children: John and his wife DeAnna and their children (Bray, Emmie Ruth, and Maggie Grace), James and his wife Megen and their children (Jack and Lainey Janice), and Sarah and her husband Andrew Holmes. Carl and Sandy love OU football, big dogs, good Mexican food, and the beach—any beach, any time.

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